Solving Science-Fictional Problems

Growing up with science-fiction meant I spent my teenage years solving all kinds of high-tech fantasy problems instead of working out how to talk to people or wear fashionable clothes. Which worked out with me talking to more interesting people and wearing more comfortable clothes!

  • If I’m cloned or copied, the original should get to keep the existing life while the new Luke immediately does something huge and fun I’ve always wanted to so that we start differing as soon as possible. I have cunningly thought this for years, so that if it ever happens the clone will instantly agree.
  • If there’s no way of telling who’s the original, we just roll a dice (odds and evens) for the original life. Don’t try to trick your exact copy because duh.
  • If you’re caught in a time loop of an eternally repeating day, hurrah, you’re immortal and immune from consequences, which is the exact opposite of sucky regular immortality! Enjoy yourself!
  • If you become immortal immediately start working on space travel and terraforming technologies. An globe-spanning empire won’t count for shit when that globe’s ecosystem collapses or the sun explodes.
  • If you manifest any showy superpower, immediately get a lawyer and start advertising for a multinational product. Hiding your powers just means the inevitable mob/shadowy agency/covert assassins can take you out more easily.
  • If you’re sent back in time, just enjoy yourself. Simply arriving in the past has already displaced an army of butterflies’ worth of air, and anyone so much as glancing at you irrevocably alters the chain of their thoughts for the rest of your lives. Tiptoeing around trying to preserve the time line is like talking quietly in a church after motorbike-jumping in through a stained-glass window.
  • Never, ever whine about wanting a “normal” life when something awesome happens to you.

More overanalytic joy with Patch Notes for C3PO.1, and Why Cyclops Should Be The Best Boyfriend Of All Time.

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