The political world was rocked yesterday by the revelation that, when given their own free choice, some Mario Kart 8 online players don’t choose Tick-Tock Clock.

“The great experiment has ended” said the last President of the United States, Barack Obama, speaking from an extraordinary and ultimate session of the G8. “The equal participation of all citizens in their own governance has been the cornerstone of the modern world. We always knew it would involve compromise. We accepted that some people would not feel ready to handle the sharp corners and exciting moving parts, preferring the clean lines of Delfino Airport, or even the sliding hairpins of Donut Plains 3. But when you have people inflicting rubbish like Moo Moo Meadows on each other, we need to face the painful truth that it isn’t working.”

The terminal Taoiseach, Enda Kenny, was overhead saying that he was surprised that they’d lasted this long, and that he felt sorry for whatever took over the hames he’d leave behind. Journalists report that President of Russia Vladimir Putin said not a word, and sat in silence, only smiling. After thinking about that for a moment, the journalists refused to give us their names, tore off their recording equipment and started running into the distance.

More Mario Kart with Total Psychopath Holding On To Red Shells In Eleventh Place