Nigel Farage, leader of the United Kingdom’s Insulting Pillocks party, has called for an end to anti-pillock legislation which he feels discriminates against him. And everyone else in the United Kingdom’s Insulting Pillocks party.

“Maybe 40 years ago it was important to prevent pillocks from ruining everything, but we’re here now, and we’re obviously against that” said the pillock.

Pictured: pillock

“I asked my children and they told me they don’t think I’m a pillock. And if you can’t trust a man who uses his own children as political proof, who can you? What’s that? No, I can’t claim ‘I have a friend‘ who isn’t a pillock. I don’t seem to have any of those since I started talking in public.”

“I think the situation that we now have, where being a pillock in public can lead to negative consequences, is one I’m not used to” said the pillock. “I mean, I’m white and rich. I shouldn’t experience the slightest inconvenience no matter how many other people I hurt. That’s the attitude the Empire was founded on. And the days of Empire are the fondest fantasy of pillocks like me.”

Fight back against the pillocks with the UK1P, The United Kingdom One Person party!