Video game fashion would require event the most Parisian catwalk to be transported to the International Space Station, being not so much avante garde but actively anti-gravity. Because video game anatomy is a bizarre biological arms race, except there’s nothing biological about it and they’re aiming exactly between the arms.

We behold some of the most ridiculously sexy video game costumes, the most tragic application of Nintendo Difficulty, and wonder what exactly it is about dreamy dwarven pectorals that so terrifies game developers.