Irish People Protest Foreign Minorities Receiving Money, Apparently Not Joking

Recent weeks have seen Waterford mobs campaigning against minority groups receiving welfare funding. They demand that the small, vulnerable group leave before they cause problems for the larger community, and are apparently completely serious despite part of Ireland in the European Union. Ireland, which has received tens of billions of euros in funding from the […]

Atheists As Annoying As Religious, Thanks To Paramilitary Coup

The increasing whine that atheists are just as annoying as the religious finally became true last night, when a global network of armed atheists mounted coups on world governments to institute a sweeping series of deeply restrictive sexist reforms. “Sure they’re just as bad as each other, now” said Dublin man Gerry Donovan, just after […]

Ireland’s Abortion Laws Announced As Plot Of Next Saw Movie

Lions Gate Entertainment yesterday announced that the next installment in the Saw franchise, movies about people subjected to brutal and overcomplicated deathtraps to satisfy the whims of madmen, would be based on Irish abortion laws. “It’s a masterpiece of bloody horror” said Lionsgate executive Media Mogulson. “We had thought Saw 3D would be the seventh […]

The Tragedy of Luther

History is entirely made of missed opportunities — for everything that happened, there are an infinite number of thigs that didn’t — but one of the most tragic was in 1517. An educated person realized “Wait a minute, these stories of an invisible friend are being used by a corrupt ruling class to extort fabulous […]

Ireland Reminds World that Geneva Conventions Do Not Apply to Midges

With the summer sun occasionally remembering where Ireland is, the government assembled reporters in Phoenix Park to remind everyone that the Geneva Conventions do not apply to midges. “The various treaties signed at Geneva have protected generations from cruel and indiscriminate attacks,” said Taoiseach Enda Kenny, stopping every few words to flail at the air […]

eBook Insanity: Female Psychic Attack!

Female Psychic Attack is written by Ross Jeffries, can be read online here, and on a parallel world where I invented English the word “Jeffries”  means  “creepy delusional.” The very first word is “Bros”, and it’s the only time in history when talking about 80s sensations Matt and Luke Goss would be less embarrassing. Pluralizing “Bro” is bad; […]