When You Should Care About Someone’s Genitals:

• They’re offering to have sex with you.
• They’re offering to have sex with you. If you’re interested in sex with them, that’s entirely your problem until they’re on board. They don’t have to sit a genital job interview just because you want to offer them a position from the Kama Sutra.

When You Should Care About the History Of Someone’s Genitals:

• You’re a doctor helping them with a specifically genital issue.
• No other time.

Disease and fertility are aspects of their current genitals. The past is nothing to do with it. If they’re clean and contracepted, it doesn’t matter if their history was “working inside a spacesuit in a convent-laboratory’s clean rom” or “measuring the orgasm response of an entire co-ed rugby team”. Sex is a current collaboration, not a real-estate deal: you can’t demand that they haven’t had guests before ever meeting you. You can’t be focused on the genital past when the genital present is much more fun, and the genital future will be outright fantastic.

I’m looking forward to a time when saying “I like vaginas” is a foible, like “I like pigtails” or “I like firemen”: a minor aspect of attraction which isn’t really important, which you’ll forget if the right person comes along, and which they’ll  be able to wear for the night to treat you anyway because we always use advanced technology for sex. But the first thing the future will fix will be conscious fertility toggles.  It’s ridiculous that we have to rut around carrying live biological fission bombs. In the future both people will have to want to conceive before it can happen, and the fact it ever used to be anything else will be more horrifying to them than the rest of our history combined.

For more genital entertainment, follow the adventures of The Craziest Consensual Sex Criminals.