Christians around the world were shocked by the return of their Lord and Saviour, the one true Jesus Christ, on the set of Porksabre Battle With Jabba The Butt. While unexpected — and posing considerable challenges for future stained glass artists — the appearance does accord with known ecumenical theory.
Theoretical theologians have long understood that since only men can be priests, the penis must act as a divine signal receiver. (With an average penis length of 15 centimeters, assuming that the Way and the Light moves at the standard light speed of 300,000,000 m/s, this would give God a frequency of 2 Gigahertz and place divine transmissions in the UHF band).
It seems the cast of the hardcore production achieved the exact resonant configuration to receive holy transmissions, a task they achieved in the same way people have improved signal reception throughout history. By banging it and wiggling it about a bit. Dick Hammer has gone on record to confirm that the position does involve some kneeling, so people have at least been getting that bit right all this time.
At time of press the returned Lord had arrived in the Vatican, and seemed confused about the awkward reception of his new disciples.
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